escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
