doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
