Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
