ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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