you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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