hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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