Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I don't think brook has ever known best
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
