I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
This house was built for laser tag.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize