Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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