Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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