YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
BRING THE BAGELS
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
