im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
