just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
