sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
