she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
