I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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