it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
