is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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