Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
