I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
