found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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