my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
