Don't you send me to vm
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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