Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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