sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
