bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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