im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize