would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
