two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
