It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm at about main and main street
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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