A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
