Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
