wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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