it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
