Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
