I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
