ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
