oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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