I love black thongs
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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