idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Randomize
