Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
