No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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