it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
