id be glad to
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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