tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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