he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
