I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
