After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
What changed your mind?
Being sober
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
