I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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