Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
